I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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