that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my poor anus
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
