if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
