he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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