How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I could fuck to npr.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
