You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
