Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
