Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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