Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
