Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
