Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize