I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
