You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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