Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
