Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
third nipple confirmed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
