you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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