I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
