you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
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