if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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