Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
