This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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