You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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