He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
