you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
