kristin has been a bad kristin
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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