I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
