new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize