So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
