Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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