You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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