Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
