if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize