Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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