im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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