NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Of course I have a pirate flag
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
