If i come over, it means nothing
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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