I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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