He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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