I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
