The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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