singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
