I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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