Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
