I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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