Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
