i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
