Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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