Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
