I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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