i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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