are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
