she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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