You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
