Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
