Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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