As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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