My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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