what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize