you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
