Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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