He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
